Trouble with the New Tale

I’ve been working on a new story, and am about five chapters in. I think the pacing is good and the overall structure is working, but there is a clear issue. The source of the issue stands out against the rest of the story, but I don’t know yet how to fix it. There are things that I do know.

The main character was a side character from a few of my other stories. In particular, he showed up in Timmy’s Zombie Abatement Service and as the first deputy on the scene in Rumpe Farm Investigation. I tried other characters as the lead for the current story, but this Deputy Fairmont seems to be the best fit.

In the tale, he is going through the motions and doing the right things. He seems dedicated to doing his job, but there is no other depth. This makes the whole tale seem like a description from a history book rather than an interesting tale. There are few of us who enjoy reading history books.

The trick would be to find out more about the deputy. His biography is clear. He has a bachelor degree in criminal justice. After that he went to the academy to go into law enforcement instead of going to law school. This job with the Abish County Sheriff’s Office is his first and he has only been there two years.

The other deputies are all local, having grown up in Abish county. Fairmont is the only one with a college degree, and he’s an outsider, so there is a little friction. However, he can be sent into situations where the other deputies may have a prior relationship with the people involved.

What bugs Fairmont is his future. The posting in Abish County is not what he expected. His friends from the academy describe different situations in the other counties. They regularly see alcohol issues, traffic collisions, disorderly conduct, domestic disputes, and meth-related crimes. None of them have had to investigate grave robbing or Prohibition Era mob murder houses.

The rest of the department doesn’t think there is anything wrong with that. Calls come in about weird lights or strange noises and the department says to make note of when it happens and, as long as no one is hurt and there is no property damage, don’t worry about it. They don’t even claim it’s swamp gas or weather balloons; it’s just one of those things that happen.

So far, the department has approved of Fairmont’s handling of things. They tell him he has a bright future in the county. He’s starting to wonder if “bright” means a good future or something more like the movie The Wicker Man.

This is the part that needs to be integrated into the story. Normally I would try to weave in the character’s general motivations along with their in-story goals to give the character depth. Now I need to do this for a character who has no idea what he wants but do it in a way so that the reader gets the point rather than just be bored.

My dear Deputy Fairmont, I need to get you sorted out. I’ll either figure out how this works or decide to write other things. Either way, you seem to have a bright future in my writing.

Buick Part 6 – Ask an Interesting Question

One of the things I will need to do to the Buick LeSabre is patch up the passenger side fender, that’s the metal part of the car body above the front wheel. There are a couple of rust spots, including a hole, as well as a long but shallow crease. The hard part of the fix will be getting the car into the garage in a way that leaves enough space to do work.

The Buick doesn’t fit well in the garage. The length leaves only a couple of inches at each end. The width means I only have a little space on the driver side and just inches from the wall on the passenger side. If I back into the garage so the passenger side is on the more spacious area, it’s still a bit cramped for safely grinding, welding, and painting.

Late one February evening, I made a mistake. I pondered the question, “How hard would it be to take the fender off the car?” The reason this was a mistake was because I was already in bed and should have been trying to sleep. Instead, my compulsion made me search the web.

Wanting to get the search done quickly, I grabbed my cell phone off the nightstand and used it. An eight-minute YouTube video later and I had my answer. Undo a handful of T-35 Torx bolts and a couple of 10mm nuts and the fender would pop right off.

This is an issue, of course. On that particular night, an arctic air mass had dropped our temperatures to nothing. Working on the Buick in any way would require waiting until warm weather. I really wanted to get started right away though. A tantrum wouldn’t help, so I just had to wait.

The good part of this eventual fender removal is that I was already going to be dismantling things in that area of the car to change the bumper cover. The bumper cover is the decorative plastic part of the bumper on modern cars. If I planned things correctly, I could do it all at once, once summer finally arrived.

I could remove the fender and move it into the garage for its repairs without trying to get the whole car in. While doing that, removing the bumper cover would be easy and I could take the time to paint the grill with plastic-friendly chrome paint.

There are these plastic shields that go inside the fenders and over the wheels in the car. They protect the engine and other things from all the rocks and debris picked up from the road. In my Buick, these are shredded with very little material left. A web search found I could get replacements for just under forty dollars for the pair of front ones. It would be a good time to replace those while I had everything apart.

While surfing, I also checked the price for a replacement fender. A reproduction would run about eighty bucks. I should be able to fix the original, even the rust hole, but it’s nice to know I have reasonable options if I need them.

Now, all that is left is to be patient until summer. What a nuisance that will be.

Buick Part 5 – Body Issues

When first looking at the Buick online, it was clear that there were a few body issues. Little dings here and there, along with one or two scratches. The front bumper cover had a large patch of duct tape. Another patch of tape covered something on the right, rear column. A large crack crossed the windshield. Of course, it had the traditional Midwestern wheel-well rust. I could deal with those things at my leisure, probably.

Getting it home, I decided to check that tape on the rear column. Two strips of tape ran along the path of a large dent. Pulling the tape off showed the true extent of the damage. It looked like something heavy fell on the car and not only punctured the body, but actually ripped a bit of it. That was going to require some serious work, probably welding. Summer would be a good time for that.

Most of the rust spots were normal. I brushed and scrubbed the rust as best I could and then sprayed some rust converter. The idea was to keep them from getting worse until I could do proper repairs the following summer.

I really enjoy doing small projects involving auto body repair. My skill is good enough for my own car, but nobody would ever pay me to do it. The little rust spots would be easy to fix with minimal tools and it would be good enough for my purposes. The repairs would prevent the damage from spreading. Anyone looking closely would find flaws, but a glance at the car wouldn’t show anything.

A Big Hole

The other issues had more to do with plastic. A crack ran through part of the plastic cover on the trunk lid, just behind the license plate. It was barely noticeable, so would be easy to fix, probably. The hard part would be disassembling everything to get the plastic part out. Depending on the extent of the damage, it may just be a matter for J-B Weld Plastic, or it may require some plastic welding. Either way, that wasn’t going to be the big job.

The tape patch on the front bumper cover hid a large hole. I hoped it was holding in all the original plastic so I could piece it back together. No such luck; the hole stood empty. The only fix would be to replace the bumper cover. I got a little giddy at the idea; it sounded fun.

I ordered an aftermarket bumper cover. They come in a large box, but have to be unfolded so they can return to their proper shape. They arrive, covered with primer but you have to paint them. Fortunately, the sticker with the paint code was still in the car. I was able to order some 513F Medium Spiral Gray Metallic paint and some clearcoat.

With the last warm days of autumn, I moved my KIA out of the garage to make a safe painting space. A couple layers of the 513F and a few more of clearcoat, and the new bumper cover looked gorgeous. It was ready to be installed.

The problem with it being autumn was that it was also during a semester. Any work I did was while taking a break from grading and class prep. I had no time for anything else. Winter weather came around and the new bumper cover sat in my garage. It’s the nicest looking thing in the garage, but that’s different from being on the car.

The issue is that the Buick does not fit in the garage. This means I will need to wait for a combination of warm weather and free time before I can put the new bumper cover on. That’s probably for the best; the grill could use some touchup and painting requires warm temperatures as well.

So, in early summer, after classes end, I can get to work on the bumper. I’ll put the car on ramps so I can undo the lower air dam (a plastic barrier) and the wheel well covers (also plastic). I’ll need to take off the upper covers. Then I can take off the old bumper cover. With that off, I’ll need to remove all the parts being kept, such as light lenses, and the big foam block that lines the inside of the cover. I’ll be able to paint the grill with chrome plastic paint. Then put it all back together with my beautiful new bumper cover.

And I can reclaim the garage space currently taken up by that same beautiful new bumper cover.

As the summer goes, I should be able to get a lot of the other work done. The trick is to do loud things, such as grinding, during the day so it’s less of an issue with the neighbors. Then I can be up all night in the cooler air to do sanding and painting.

The Big Rip

I’m looking forward to tackling that tear in the rear column. The interior trim can come off to give me access to the back of the damage. That will help when pushing the metal back out. I’ll get the tear welded, hopefully.

Getting all the dent back in shape will take more work. Part of it goes over a body line (one of those crease-like lines that give the body its shape). Trying to match the line and the curves on both sides will take patience. Again, I will be able to do it well enough for my car, but nobody would pay me to do it.

It’s that challenge of working with my hands and getting something fixed back to the way it should be that I find most satisfying. Whether it’s something mechanical or some old, wood furniture being restored, it’s just pleasant. There’s a wholesomeness to it to put something right. As long as you wear the proper protective equipment, of course.

Headliner

During the summer, I will also consider tackling the headliner. That’s the cloth that covers the ceiling of the passenger compartment. The current one looks quilted because the cloth is falling down and the previous owner put in rows of thumb tacks to hold it in place.

Removing the cloth will be easy, if a bit messy. Getting the structural part of the headliner out of the car will be a pain. It’s a solid, flatish piece that spans the entire top of the car. Removing it from the car is the only way to clean it thoroughly and glue new cloth to it. Then, the same fight goes into putting it back into the car. It needs done, but I’m not as enthused about this project.

Say No to Crack

That left the matter of the windshield. The crack began at the bottom, about ten inches from the driver side, rose six inches, and traveled in a straight line almost to the edge on the passenger side. A smaller crack of the same shape followed along beneath it. A window repair kit wasn’t going to fix this one.

My regular mechanic recommended a local auto glass shop. I got a quote from them and was surprised at how low it was. The replacement took place in November. The folks did a really good job and were quick about it. Because the windshield of my fifteen-year-old KIA was heavily pitted, I got a quote for that and then had the work done in December. It was nice to be able to safely see out of both cars.

At this point, most of the repairs are cosmetic. As long as the mechanical and electrical issues are done, the car should last another couple of decades. It will also look really nice, at least for the 2005 era. I wonder, a little, how the story would have been different if I had gotten the Grand Am instead. Hard to say, but I’m an old dude and should probably have an old dude car.

Buicks, as a manufacturer of cars, has been around since the end of the 1800s, so this car has the chance to last as well. I just need this one to last another twenty years so I can get my money out of it.

Buick Part 4 – Old and Tired

When I first got the Buick LeSabre, I took it to my regular shop to be inspected. This is the place where I’ve gotten all my work done through several cars now. It is also a tire shop and I get all my tires there. Their inspection of the tires showed plenty of tread depth and no obvious damage. That wasn’t the whole story though.

I took the Buick for a drive in the middle of January. It’s good for every car to get out once in a while to keep the fluids moving. As I drove along, another driver at the light told me my front, passenger-side tire was low. Thanks, other driver.

Since I was headed to the convenience store a couple of blocks away, I figured I could use their air pump. That worked well; I got the tires aired up.

The car wouldn’t start. The dash lit up, but there was no sound from the starter. I did all I could do, which wasn’t much, and then had the car towed home.

Resolved to the fact that I would have to pay to have more repairs done, I decided they would wait for a better budget period. I had just put brand new tires on my KIA, as well as a tie rod end. Besides, with warmer weather, eventually, I might be able to figure something out.

To start, I put the battery on the charger. It’s best to have a fully charged battery for these sorts of things. That didn’t do it.

My research, such as it was, said that if the car loses power for too long it may throw off the key-based security system. If that happened, you needed to go through the half-hour retraining sequence to adapt your keys to the system. It didn’t seem like the issue, but it was a cheap thing to check. No luck.

I had just resolved to have the car towed to the shop; it wasn’t doing any good as lawn art. First, I had some work to get down.

In many cases, I make videos for use by my students in the classes. One of my tasks that night was to upload a video to YouTube. The YouTube page opened up and, among their suggestions, was a video for a 2004 Buick LeSabre, just one year earlier than mine. The video was about the car not starting and how the guy did the troubleshooting. Since the video was only six minutes long, I decided to watch.

Though the starter issue in the video was different from mine, the troubleshooting involved a step I had missed. There is a circuit breaker for the starter motor in one of the scattered fuse boxes in the car. The video guy said you could test it by replacing it with a spare or just swapping with one of the breakers for the fan motors.

I ran out to the car and performed the test.

The Buick started right up.

I made a quick run to the parts store and bought a new circuit breaker. They only had one, so I had to get a spare several days later.

With the car running, I took it for a quick test drive. The handling seemed soft, so I figured the cold weather had softened the tires again.

As I got to the convenience store, the handling grew worse. I got to the air pump to find that it had no power. Worse, the driver’s side front tire was completely flat. The passenger side was almost as bad.

I called a tow truck again, this time just to air up the tires. Yep, I’ve been adding these tow charges to the cost of the car and the budget is not happy. Anyway, they aired up the tires and it seemed to hold. I had the tow truck stick around to make sure the car would start.

Once home, I decided to see how long the tires would hold air. By after work the next day, the driver’s side tire was completely flat and the passenger side was low.

The spare, one of those donuts, was also low on air. It requires sixty pounds. My home compressor could only get it to forty. That wasn’t safe to drive on, but it might hold the car up. I swapped it with the driver’s side front tire. Then I took the flat to the tire shop.

The tire shop guy called a short time later. There were no punctures or anything he could fix. The date code on the tire said it was fifteen years old and the insides were falling apart from just rot.

All the tires on the car looked the same. If that one was in bad shape, all of them were. They would need to be replaced.

They got that one fixed. I picked it up and put it on the car. Then I took the front, passenger-side tire in. Same story, it was too old. They replaced that one. Bringing that one home, I got it onto the car as well.

Because of the size of the tires, they didn’t have any more in stock. They ordered a couple more for the rear wheels. When it came time, I drove the Buick to the shop to swap those out. I also had them inspect and inflate the donut.

All four came out to a little over four-hundred bucks. At least they’re safe to drive on now. I joked with the tire guys that the car should be set for another fifteen years.

With safe tires and a spare circuit breaker, I took the car to the car wash (which it needed) and short drive in the country. The handling and ride were much better with the new tires. I hadn’t realized how soft the ride had been; or just assumed it was part of the “luxury” of the car.

I got the car home and parked. This time, I left the battery connected to see if I got the key set correctly so the battery won’t be drained. With any luck, when I go to start it next time, there won’t be any issues.

We’ll see.

Buick Part 3 – Seats and Buckles

The fact that the driver’s seat belt buckle would not fasten was a serious safety concern. To get the Buick LeSabre home from the dealership, I had to stretch my seat belt over to the passenger’s buckle. It was still in the middle of the seat, but not quite the same. The dealer took five-hundred bucks off the cost of the car because of it. Still, it needed to be fixed.

The car obviously belonged to a smoker who had kids and dogs. The dealer tried to clean the car, but there were still plenty of things to clean or replace. Rows of thumbtacks held up the headliner (the cloth in the car’s ceiling). Cigarette burns and dog hair colored the carpet. Worse, the cleaning fluid the dealer used would not go away and the odor was getting to be a bit much.

Over winter break between semesters, I needed to replace the seat belt buckle. Some place on eBay had one new, in the box, for a reasonable price. All I needed to do was to get the driver seat out.

For reference, the seat bolts are Torx T-45. I couldn’t find that anywhere.

The driver seat of a luxury car has a lot of automatic features. Each of those comfort features has to be able to move a really heavy driver while not impeding any safety features. Each of those features adds weight to the seat. I’m surprised I didn’t get hurt wrestling that thing out of the car. Worse, fighting with it pressed my nose right into the scent of that cleaner.

To make matters more fun, the front, outer bolt was rusted in place. I could unscrew the other three bolts, but not that one. Penetrating fluid did nothing. Heating didn’t help. Nothing budged it at all. Running out of time, I finally had to drill it out. What a pain.

As mentioned, the Buick barely fits in the garage, but I was working on it in December. This meant putting up with the cramped space to get the seat out.

The Carpet Too

Since I was taking the seat out anyway, I decided to do something about the carpet. Several places on the Internet sell custom automotive carpets. I found an inexpensive one and got it matched. While the driver seat was out, I pulled the passenger seat (which does not have all the automatic things), and replaced the carpet.

The original carpet had thick padding stuck to the bottom. That cleaning fluid the dealer used had soaked into the padding, oozing out with any pressure. The odor filled the garage and continued to do so until I could dispose of the nasty thing. It was really disgusting.

While the old carpet was up, I cleaned the exposed metal floor. There were a few light rust spots, so I cleaned the rust off as best I could then applied a nice rust converter followed by some primer. Fortunately, the radiant heater in the garage glowed directly down into the passenger compartment of the car to keep it warm enough for these activities.

My winter break ran out of time, so I hurried along to get done. The new carpet still needs to be tidied up along the edges where it goes under the trim, but it already looks and smells better. I got the seats and seat belt buckle installed so the car was drivable. When it gets warm enough, I’ll put the head rests back on since I forgot to do that while installing the seats.

And the Rest

While waiting for ordered parts and such, I made a few other little fixes. The original ashtray hung down wildly, so I replaced it. I also fixed a few broken pieces of plastic on the dash, with the help of J-B Weld Plastic, an awesome epoxy for plastic parts. All the vents work now.

It was also a good time to tear everything open and douse it in disinfectant as I went. All the plastic that a person could contact is now germ free. I got as far as I could into the vents as well. All that’s left are the seats and the headliner. The seats will get steam cleaned as soon as it gets warm enough out. The headliner will be replaced during the summer some time.

With that, there were only a few things left to do. I was a little over the original budget, but the car should be drivable for the next couple of decades. As long as there aren’t any more surprises.

I really shouldn’t have said that.