I got up promptly at six o’clock just like always. Not having a real job, it would have been easy to fall into the slovenly, lazy pattern most people assumed I had. I knew that was a bad path to take, so I treated my hobby like a real job and tried to maintain professional hours.
Anyway, a few shakes of the head and some blinking of the eyes, and any memory of a gray face with black, hollow eyes faded away to wherever dreams go in the morning.
After calisthenics, breakfast, and a shower, I was ready to go. It was my practice to document every investigation in great detail. Where I went and when, as well as who I interacted with. I even kept track of the mileage driving to and from. Again, had to run it like a real job.
By the time I had them filed and cross referenced in my database, making the formal reports took all morning. It was good to have computer skills. That left me with lunch, posting the reports on the website, and it occurred to me that I should warn Rick that I had sent someone his way.
“Hi, Rick, it’s me, Timmy Hunt,” I said into the phone.
“Hey Timmy, what can I do for you today?” He was always offering to do things for people, which was his polite way of asking for business. He was a nice guy and did the best he could for his clients, but he needed to make his own money too.
I decided to keep it short. “Hey, Rick, I just wanted to give you a heads-up. I gave your number to a woman named Mary Sweigart yesterday. It seems that she doesn’t know how to handle money since her husband passed away. Now she has a house and an apartment building to take care of and isn’t doing a great job at either. Sounds like she could benefit from your services.” Okay, maybe not that short.
Rick chuckled. “You always run into all the sad stories. At least it’s good for business. I’ll look for her call. How are you doing?”
One of the things about Rick being a nice guy was that he genuinely cared about people, especially his clients. He handled my money really well and I doubted that I would ever be broke, but he worried that my zombie sideline was maybe not psychologically healthy and that I might be better off with a more traditional business or career. It was probably odd that my financial advisor was one of the few people in my life who worried about me.
“I’m doing okay,” I said. “Expenses are down and the merchandise sales on the website are more than enough to keep the site running.”
“Well that’s good,” he said. I heard the concern and slight disappointment in his tone. “Have you thought of any ways to expand your zombie-themed empire for a better revenue stream?”
“No,” I chuckled, “not yet. If I think of something, I will definitely let you know.”
We said our goodbyes and I went on with the rest of my day.
In most cases, I rewrote the reports for posting on my website. Visitors to the site liked to read what I had been up to, or that’s what the web traffic reports said. For each report, I left out the real names and addresses of the persons involved. I also tended to leave the results more vague and the language more sensational. The most popular of the so-called cases read like they could still be signs of a zombie presence. Telling the readers blatantly that the zombie turned out to be a drunk guy wasn’t going to attract them to the site or sell them any of the merchandise that paid for the site.
It was a little after two o’clock when the phone rang.
“Hello, Mr. Hunt,” said the familiar voice. “This is Sergeant Hargrave of the Abish County Sheriff’s Department. I’ve got a few questions. Can I get you to come down to the sheriff’s station?”
The call caught me off guard, but my be-nice-to-cops defense mechanism kicked in. “Sure,” I said, “when would you like me there?
“As soon as you can get here would be good.” The words were very polite, but the tone carried a bit of command.
“I’m on my way then,” I said. “It should be about fifteen minutes.”
With that, I was on my way back to the sheriff’s office. Second time in two days, what were the odds of that?
Then a thought struck me, I hope Stan and Sammy were okay. A quick flash of the two of them lying on the ground and full of bullet holes popped in my head. A shudder ran up my spine.
I shook my head. No, that wasn’t it. There had to be something else. It seemed more likely to involve Johnny Franks. I called in the dunk guy report and gave my name. If they talked to him, he would have said he already talked to me. Why didn’t I mention that when I made my call? What was I trying to hide?
The whole drive to the office had worries, fears, and wild scenarios running wild through my brain. It was a relief to get there.
The big window had a different deputy at the desk this time. I explained that Sergeant Hargrave had called me. The deputy shared some muffled yelling in the direction of the sergeant’s office and then told me to come through.
As I passed the heavy door, Hargrave stepped out of his office to greet me. “Thank you for coming down, Mr. Hunt. I’m hoping you may be able to help clear some things up for me. Come on back.” He motioned the direction of a hallway that led further into the station and then started walking.
I followed him down. He seemed friendly enough, but I wasn’t sure why he couldn’t ask questions in his office like last time. It set my heart rate up a little.
We walked past a small waiting area, basically an alcove in the wall, with several chairs, then down the hallway lined with doors to various offices.
Despite the general upkeep, it was obvious the front part of the building was old. The plaster walls had been patched repeatedly and carried who knew how many layers of paint. The yellow varnish on the wood trim and baseboards cracked and crazed. It looked like someone replaced the light fixtures, probably back in the eighties. Even though the main scent in the air was coffee, there was a faint hint of ancient cigarette left from the days when that was allowed.
The plaster gave way to drywall and newer lights, to be followed by cinder block walls awash with white paint. He led me through a metal door in this section. The room was dark, but I could see a wood table and a couple of wood chairs. It looked like an interrogation room from a cop show on T.V.
He closed the door behind us and then crossed to the wide wall on the side of the room. I hadn’t noticed at first, but there was a window with a shade pulled down over it. Hargrave opened the shade to show another room on the other side, this one lighted.
“Are these yours?” he asked.
The other room looked the same as this one, complete with table and chairs, but those chairs were occupied. At least three of them were. What did they call themselves? Revenant Rangers? I rolled my eyes and let out a heavy breath. “No,” I answered, “but I kind of know who they are.”
Hargrave let the shade close again and then he sat in one of the chairs. “Why don’t you tell me about it?”
Without thinking, I sat down across the table from him and started my tale. “I was called out to look into some noises in a basement. While I was there, these boys recognized my van and stopped to ask if they could help.”
“Why would they recognize your van?” he asked.
That disrupted the flow of my story, but I recovered quickly. “They said they were big fans of my website and recognized the logo. They want to be zombie hunters.”
He tilted his head and raised an eyebrow.
I was used to the skeptics, but it was still uncomfortable. I decided to get to the good part. “At that moment, they were making my client uncomfortable, so I asked them to go wait by their car until I was finished. They did that. I finished up and then I had a talk with them.”
“And what did you tell them?”
I inhaled deeply to have enough air to give a long, uninterrupted description. “When they said they wanted to hunt zombies, I told them that it was too dangerous and that they should limit themselves to reading about it. I also told them that I had gone to college and, exaggerating a little, said that I was highly trained. With that settled, I gave them a couple of harmless souvenirs from stuff in the back of the van and they left.”
He just sat, looking at me.
My mind went back to something I read about the easiest way to get someone to keep talking was to just look at them expectantly until they became really uncomfortable and would talk just to break the tension. It was working because that tension was really building. The only problem was that I didn’t have anything else to say.
He shifted the tilt of his head to the other side. It was subtle, but there. “Is that the last you saw of them until just now?”
“Yeah,” I started, then, “no, wait. On my way home, I stopped at the convenience store to get something to drink. When I pulled out to leave, I’m pretty sure I saw their car go down the street headed west.”
“Headed in the direction of Field Street?” he asked.
“I think so,” I said. Then I froze. I didn’t want him to see that I froze, but I definitely froze. Mrs. Sweigart’s apartment building was on Field Street.
I think Hargrave was about to say something, but a knock on the door interrupted. The deputy from yesterday’s front desk popped his head in. He looked at me for a moment and then turned to the sergeant. “Got something for you,” he said. Then he looked back at me.
Hargrave tapped the table firmly with the index and middle fingers of his right hand. “Sit tight,” he instructed, “I’ll be right back.” He rose from the chair and exited with the deputy.
It was time to sit and try to remain calm. That wasn’t happening as well as I wanted. The kids had gone back to Mrs. Sweigart’s place and got themselves into trouble on a zombie hunt. In police custody, they talked about me and now me, the weirdo, was going to be in hot water for contributing to the delinquency of a minor or something.
Breathe in; breathe out. I needed to calm down.
Unless the boys lied about something I couldn’t disprove, my story would hold up fine. At most, I would get a stern talking to by Sergeant Hargrave. Then, if I was around when the kid’s parents showed up, they would glare at me and tell me to stay away from their children. The boys would be told to stop going to ‘that site’ and maybe get grounded. It would all be unpleasant, but that’s all the further it should go, probably.
Hargrave came back in, shut the door, and sat down. This time he had his notebook and some papers. He shifted a little to get comfortable, not a good sign, and prepared his pen for note taking. “Tell me about this client you were visiting,” he said.
I assumed that he would get everything out of me eventually, so my best bet was to be as upfront as possible. “Mary Sweigart owns the little apartment building over on Field Street. She had been having trouble with noises in the basement and asked me to take a look. I didn’t find anything other than signs of some mice. The real problem was the outside cellar door. Someone had broken the lock a couple of times.”
Hargrave stopped writing and looked up at me. The expression suggested that broken locks should have figured more heavily in the story. Lesson learned.
“So, I talked with her and one of her tenants, a woman named, hold on.” I fished my own notebook out of my pocket. “Her name was Edna, but I didn’t get her last name. She had a small bite on her leg that looked like it might be a mouse bite. I strongly suggested that she seek medical attention.”
Hargrave made a couple of slight nods as he finished writing in his notebook. “Tell me more about these locks.”
I made a show of looking at my notes more thoroughly, hoping that he would trust me more for some reason. “I only saw parts of one of the locks. It was on the ground near the cellar doors. I didn’t touch it or anything. It was a padlock and it looked like the round part where you put the key was sticking out the bottom in a weird way. I figured that was how it was broken, but I don’t know much about locks.”
He made a few more scribbles before his next question. “Did you charge Mary Sweigart for your services?”
There was still the worry about a scam. It was reasonable; I had seen my share of scams. “No, I didn’t charge her anything. I did give her the name of a financial advisor. She said she’s struggled with money since her husband passed away, so I figured she could use the help.”
I could hear movement in the other room. As people moved out into the hallway, I heard what I assumed to be a mother expressing her displeasure at having to come to collect her teen son at the police station. It suddenly felt much more comfortable to be in the small, dark room being interrogated by Sergeant Hargrave.
While we waited for the hallway show to migrate toward the front of the building, Hargrave looked through some of the papers he brought in with him. “It says here you made a nine-one-one call last night.” His expression suggested that I should tell him about it.
Again, spilling everything seemed the best course of action. “Just before I left Mrs. Sweigart’s apartment building, I saw someone walking toward the back. It didn’t look like any of the tenants, as far as I knew, so I went to see what was going on.”
He kept writing.
“When I got to the back,” I continued,”I found Johnny Franks. He does maintenance at the apartment building as a favor to Mrs. Sweigart. At that time, though, he was very drunk. He confessed that he was the one who broke the locks and was going into the basement. He said he did it to get away from his mother who lives with him.”
Hargrave interrupted, “Why did he break the locks instead of just using the key?”
“I asked him the same thing. He said he left the key at home and didn’t want to face his mother just to go get it. He said he replaced the locks, so it was okay.” I paused a moment for some reason; it just seemed like a good place to do it. I figured it gave the sergeant enough time to finish writing.
“Anyway,” I went on, “I had him promise that he would make a duplicate key and keep it someplace safe that was not at home so he could stop scaring Mrs. Sweigart and her renters. Then he begged me not to tell, and I assured him I wouldn’t, even though that seemed like a bad idea. I asked him if he was going to be okay, and he said he was going to sit and rest a bit and then go home.”
Hargrave finished the current lines and waited for the next part.
I decided to wrap it up quickly. “I left but then started worrying that if Johnny passed out there in the cold he would freeze by morning, so I made the nine-one-one call to have him checked on.”
That seemed to satisfy the sergeant on that matter at least. “It’s probably a good thing that you did. They found him passed out behind the building, so you probably saved his life.” He sat the papers down, flipped back a page in his notebook to review, and then returned to the current page. “Why do you think Mary Sweigart called you about the disturbance instead of calling law enforcement.”
I had hoped he would skip over that detail. “I have no idea, really. I’m not even sure how she would have found my website; she doesn’t seem the type. I have a guess or two, but they would just be guesses.”
“What would those guesses be?”
I really didn’t want to get Mrs. Sweigart into any trouble, but we seemed to be past that point. Maybe it would do some good. “My first guess was that the apartment building isn’t in a really good state of repair. Since she relies on the income from the building but doesn’t know how to bring it up to where it should be, she is probably afraid of being cited and having the building shut down. That’s my best guess.”
Hargrave looked up from his notebook. “So there isn’t a graveyard out back or any strange symbols anywhere?”
“Not that I am aware,” I said. “I really just think she needed somebody to come out and reassure her, but didn’t want anyone official.”
That seemed to satisfy him.
He gathered up his things and stood. “I appreciate you coming down, Mr. Hunt. I hope you will be able to avoid attracting anymore helpers and that you will continue to refer non-zombie activities to the authorities.” Though the words seemed just a tad jovial, there was still that warning just under the surface. That was a neat trick; I would have to look up how to do that.
He led me back to the front of the building. Two occupants sat in the waiting area. The first was a girl, probably in her mid-teens. She wore all black pants, shirt, coat, and makeup. We didn’t have many goths in the area, so she stood out.
The person sitting next to her was the older of the Revenant Rangers. He leaned in with the clumsy flirting skills of someone his age. When he saw me, he perked up and pointed. “That’s him! That’s Timmy Hunt, the zombie guy.”
The girl looked up at me. She tried hard to keep expressionless, but there was the slightest hint of curiosity. Just what I needed, more kids trying to join the troop.
I pointed to the boy. “Let’s see, you’re, uh, Jake, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah,” he replied, way too overjoyed at being remembered. He pointed to the girl. “This is Sarah. Some pervert tried to get too fresh with her so she cut him and he ran off. We both have to wait until our parents get here before we can leave.”
I felt bad for the boy’s parents if this was what he was like all the time; he had way too much energy. I also thought that if their parents didn’t come in soon, it was likely that Sarah was going to cut him too.
Still, I should at least put on a good show for the deputies. I looked down at Jake with my best stern expression. “Didn’t I tell you fellows to stay out of trouble? That investigating zombies should be left to trained professionals? So now I find you here because you got yourselves in trouble.”
The boy’s expression changed as he deflated a bit. “Sorry,” he said, “We let our curiosity get loose and weren’t thinking right. I hope we didn’t mess up anything you were doing out there?”
I wasn’t good at being the bad guy, but I tried a little more. “You be sure to stay out of trouble from now on. And that goes for your friends too, so pass it along.”
“I will, I swear it.” He held up his hand in a swearing position.
I nodded acceptance. “Good,” I said and turned away.
Sergeant Hargrave let me out through the secure door. As I left, I heard Jake telling Sarah, “I got my own car.”
I drove home and finished the website version of my reports. By the time they were posted, it was nearly six o’clock. I turned on the T. V. news while heating a can of soup.
I liked to keep track of the events of the day, but I never paid too much attention. I couldn’t do anything about most of the things in the world. I mean, I still voted on election day and stuff like that, but most of the time they didn’t need me in the way.
This time, however, something caught my attention. It was just a name: Johnny Franks.
The anchor woman read on, “… suspected in a string of burglaries over the past several months. Police arrested Franks last night behind an apartment building on Field Street. The initial arrest was for public intoxication and resisting arrest. He was found near a broken lock that matched broken locks at other crime scenes. We’ll have more as this story develops.”
Oops. As I stirred my small pot of soup, I wondered about all that. Was it just a coincidence that Johnny broke locks the same was as the other thieves or was he the thief? If it was just a coincidence, I was going to feel really bad about calling the cops on him. On the other hand, maybe he was the thief. I didn’t really know him, so I wasn’t in a position to judge.
It occurred to me that Mrs. Sweigart no longer had a handyman, and she really needed one. That could go poorly for her.
I poured the soup from the pot into a bowl. Very little scent rose up because it was just a cheap, vegetable soup. I could afford better, but didn’t want to spend money unnecessarily. Still, it was important to keep to the routines of civilization to avoid becoming a complete slob.
Poor, poor Mrs. Sweigart.
Grabbing a spoon and carrying the bowl to the table, I sat down to eat.
And stopped.
Something occurred to me. Whether Johnny was a crook or not, he would probably figure out that I narced on him. He probably would not be happy about that. He was pretty big and looked rough.
I just sort of stared into space for a bit.
My soup got cold.