Author: Bob

Buick Part 4 – Old and Tired

When I first got the Buick LeSabre, I took it to my regular shop to be inspected. This is the place where I’ve gotten all my work done through several cars now. It is also a tire shop and I get all my tires there. Their inspection of the tires showed plenty of tread depth and no obvious damage. That wasn’t the whole story though.

I took the Buick for a drive in the middle of January. It’s good for every car to get out once in a while to keep the fluids moving. As I drove along, another driver at the light told me my front, passenger-side tire was low. Thanks, other driver.

Since I was headed to the convenience store a couple of blocks away, I figured I could use their air pump. That worked well; I got the tires aired up.

The car wouldn’t start. The dash lit up, but there was no sound from the starter. I did all I could do, which wasn’t much, and then had the car towed home.

Resolved to the fact that I would have to pay to have more repairs done, I decided they would wait for a better budget period. I had just put brand new tires on my KIA, as well as a tie rod end. Besides, with warmer weather, eventually, I might be able to figure something out.

To start, I put the battery on the charger. It’s best to have a fully charged battery for these sorts of things. That didn’t do it.

My research, such as it was, said that if the car loses power for too long it may throw off the key-based security system. If that happened, you needed to go through the half-hour retraining sequence to adapt your keys to the system. It didn’t seem like the issue, but it was a cheap thing to check. No luck.

I had just resolved to have the car towed to the shop; it wasn’t doing any good as lawn art. First, I had some work to get down.

In many cases, I make videos for use by my students in the classes. One of my tasks that night was to upload a video to YouTube. The YouTube page opened up and, among their suggestions, was a video for a 2004 Buick LeSabre, just one year earlier than mine. The video was about the car not starting and how the guy did the troubleshooting. Since the video was only six minutes long, I decided to watch.

Though the starter issue in the video was different from mine, the troubleshooting involved a step I had missed. There is a circuit breaker for the starter motor in one of the scattered fuse boxes in the car. The video guy said you could test it by replacing it with a spare or just swapping with one of the breakers for the fan motors.

I ran out to the car and performed the test.

The Buick started right up.

I made a quick run to the parts store and bought a new circuit breaker. They only had one, so I had to get a spare several days later.

With the car running, I took it for a quick test drive. The handling seemed soft, so I figured the cold weather had softened the tires again.

As I got to the convenience store, the handling grew worse. I got to the air pump to find that it had no power. Worse, the driver’s side front tire was completely flat. The passenger side was almost as bad.

I called a tow truck again, this time just to air up the tires. Yep, I’ve been adding these tow charges to the cost of the car and the budget is not happy. Anyway, they aired up the tires and it seemed to hold. I had the tow truck stick around to make sure the car would start.

Once home, I decided to see how long the tires would hold air. By after work the next day, the driver’s side tire was completely flat and the passenger side was low.

The spare, one of those donuts, was also low on air. It requires sixty pounds. My home compressor could only get it to forty. That wasn’t safe to drive on, but it might hold the car up. I swapped it with the driver’s side front tire. Then I took the flat to the tire shop.

The tire shop guy called a short time later. There were no punctures or anything he could fix. The date code on the tire said it was fifteen years old and the insides were falling apart from just rot.

All the tires on the car looked the same. If that one was in bad shape, all of them were. They would need to be replaced.

They got that one fixed. I picked it up and put it on the car. Then I took the front, passenger-side tire in. Same story, it was too old. They replaced that one. Bringing that one home, I got it onto the car as well.

Because of the size of the tires, they didn’t have any more in stock. They ordered a couple more for the rear wheels. When it came time, I drove the Buick to the shop to swap those out. I also had them inspect and inflate the donut.

All four came out to a little over four-hundred bucks. At least they’re safe to drive on now. I joked with the tire guys that the car should be set for another fifteen years.

With safe tires and a spare circuit breaker, I took the car to the car wash (which it needed) and short drive in the country. The handling and ride were much better with the new tires. I hadn’t realized how soft the ride had been; or just assumed it was part of the “luxury” of the car.

I got the car home and parked. This time, I left the battery connected to see if I got the key set correctly so the battery won’t be drained. With any luck, when I go to start it next time, there won’t be any issues.

We’ll see.

Buick Part 3 – Seats and Buckles

The fact that the driver’s seat belt buckle would not fasten was a serious safety concern. To get the Buick LeSabre home from the dealership, I had to stretch my seat belt over to the passenger’s buckle. It was still in the middle of the seat, but not quite the same. The dealer took five-hundred bucks off the cost of the car because of it. Still, it needed to be fixed.

The car obviously belonged to a smoker who had kids and dogs. The dealer tried to clean the car, but there were still plenty of things to clean or replace. Rows of thumbtacks held up the headliner (the cloth in the car’s ceiling). Cigarette burns and dog hair colored the carpet. Worse, the cleaning fluid the dealer used would not go away and the odor was getting to be a bit much.

Over winter break between semesters, I needed to replace the seat belt buckle. Some place on eBay had one new, in the box, for a reasonable price. All I needed to do was to get the driver seat out.

For reference, the seat bolts are Torx T-45. I couldn’t find that anywhere.

The driver seat of a luxury car has a lot of automatic features. Each of those comfort features has to be able to move a really heavy driver while not impeding any safety features. Each of those features adds weight to the seat. I’m surprised I didn’t get hurt wrestling that thing out of the car. Worse, fighting with it pressed my nose right into the scent of that cleaner.

To make matters more fun, the front, outer bolt was rusted in place. I could unscrew the other three bolts, but not that one. Penetrating fluid did nothing. Heating didn’t help. Nothing budged it at all. Running out of time, I finally had to drill it out. What a pain.

As mentioned, the Buick barely fits in the garage, but I was working on it in December. This meant putting up with the cramped space to get the seat out.

The Carpet Too

Since I was taking the seat out anyway, I decided to do something about the carpet. Several places on the Internet sell custom automotive carpets. I found an inexpensive one and got it matched. While the driver seat was out, I pulled the passenger seat (which does not have all the automatic things), and replaced the carpet.

The original carpet had thick padding stuck to the bottom. That cleaning fluid the dealer used had soaked into the padding, oozing out with any pressure. The odor filled the garage and continued to do so until I could dispose of the nasty thing. It was really disgusting.

While the old carpet was up, I cleaned the exposed metal floor. There were a few light rust spots, so I cleaned the rust off as best I could then applied a nice rust converter followed by some primer. Fortunately, the radiant heater in the garage glowed directly down into the passenger compartment of the car to keep it warm enough for these activities.

My winter break ran out of time, so I hurried along to get done. The new carpet still needs to be tidied up along the edges where it goes under the trim, but it already looks and smells better. I got the seats and seat belt buckle installed so the car was drivable. When it gets warm enough, I’ll put the head rests back on since I forgot to do that while installing the seats.

And the Rest

While waiting for ordered parts and such, I made a few other little fixes. The original ashtray hung down wildly, so I replaced it. I also fixed a few broken pieces of plastic on the dash, with the help of J-B Weld Plastic, an awesome epoxy for plastic parts. All the vents work now.

It was also a good time to tear everything open and douse it in disinfectant as I went. All the plastic that a person could contact is now germ free. I got as far as I could into the vents as well. All that’s left are the seats and the headliner. The seats will get steam cleaned as soon as it gets warm enough out. The headliner will be replaced during the summer some time.

With that, there were only a few things left to do. I was a little over the original budget, but the car should be drivable for the next couple of decades. As long as there aren’t any more surprises.

I really shouldn’t have said that.

Buick Part 2 – Into the Shop

I made arrangements to get the Buick LeSabre into the shop, the same shop that fixed my KIA Rio. Unfortunately, the Buick wouldn’t start. The battery died while sitting in front of my house. Well, that was annoying, but the car was headed for the shop anyway. I would let them take care of it.

My regular towing service popped by to load the Buick on the flatbed. Off it went. Since it was a backup vehicle, the shop could take its time. I wasn’t worried about anything, yet.

I assumed the car would need tires, breaks, shocks and struts, and all the fluids replaced. Turned out the tires still had tread, so I didn’t replace them. Everything else on my list needed work. There were a few additional things that I hadn’t noticed when looking things over at the dealership.

A couple of the parts that hold the engine to the rest of the car, called “motor mounts”, were broken. Part of the steering system was leaking fluids, so that needed to be replaced. They also replaced the battery.

At this point, I was approaching the original planned maximum budget. The mechanic said the engine was otherwise in really good shape. Since the 3800 V-6 was a forever engine, I should be able to drive the car another ten to twenty years with proper maintenance. That meant I would be able to get my money’s worth.

I drove the car back home with a few errands on the way.

A few days later, I couldn’t start it. The battery was dead. It seemed I had an intermittent, electrical problem. That meant that sometimes, but not all the time, some piece of the wiring would just decide to drain the battery. I hate intermittent problems.

While hunting for the issue, I found that once the windshield wipers were on, they stayed on until I pulled the fuse. This was also a “sometimes” problem. It was getting really annoying.

The Bigger Issue

The main problem with all this was that I was in the middle of a semester. I have absolutely zero free time in the middle of a semester. That meant no time to hunt down electrical issues.

I called my regular shop to get their opinion. They said they weren’t really equipped to handle that sort of problem and recommended an automotive electrical shop. I made arrangements there.

The day of the appointment, I attached my newly charged battery and drove to work. At work, I disconnected the battery so it wouldn’t drain. After work, I reconnected the battery and drove over to the new shop and dropped it off. A taxi got me home. It’s not fun having a car that needs extra steps to do basic things.

A week went by and they hadn’t found anything. It turned out they were just going out every morning and starting the car. Since nothing changed, they didn’t know where to look. I suggested they start the car and take it for a drive to see if something could be shaken loose.

Honestly, I was getting frustrated at the lack of progress. I contemplated just having them stop and I would take the car elsewhere. That is when they called to let me know what they found.

The ignition cylinder, the part where the key goes, was missing some of its innards. That meant that you could take the key out regardless of the position. If you didn’t have the key in just the right place, it would turn on the accessories for the car and drain the battery.

Time for a Switch

Unfortunately, they could not replace the ignition switch because it was missing those parts and they wouldn’t know how to configure a new one for the key. They recommended that I contact a locksmith who worked on vehicles. They were, however, able to fix my dashboard so all the gauges worked and the light usually worked.

I called around to a couple of locksmiths. Most weren’t interested, probably because it sounds suspicious that I would want a new cylinder when the old was missing its parts. It sounds like a stolen vehicle. The most positive response was, “I’ll do some research and get back to you.” He never got back to me.

Ignition cylinder kits are available online. If you don’t know how to configure them, they are useless. It took a while, but I found an old YouTube video of a guy showing exactly how to determine the configuration of General Motors keys from my car’s era so you can configure an ignition cylinder.

Feeling web-educated, I ordered a kit. The instructions were easy to follow, so I got the cylinder configured for my key. I tried it with all three keys. Now all I needed was a mix of free time and warm weather to put the new cylinder into the car. I’m still waiting and will probably be waiting until summer.

You may ask, why not do the work in the garage? Well, a Buick LeSabre is a lengthy car. Though my tiny KIA Rio fits well enough, the Buick does not. When I pulled it in, the front was inches away from the workbench and the rear was inches from the garage door. Opening the doors barely gave enough room to get in.

Of course, I did have to do some work in the garage. There was the matter of the driver’s seat belt buckle replacement. What a pain.

Buick Part 1 – Getting a Backup Car

The car I drive every day is now fifteen years old. It’s been a reliable car, but an event last fall made me decide to get a backup car for when this one is in the shop. This should have gone smoothly, but I may have outsmarted myself. What do I mean by that?

The regular car is a 2010 KIA Rio. I bought it new with twenty-four miles on the odometer. Last fall, the speedometer went wild and all the dash lights came on. Fortunately, I was only a few blocks from the place where I usually buy batteries. I managed to get in.

They did some tests. The alternator was shot and it took the battery with it. I got a new battery and had them install it. That gave me enough juice to go the two miles home. I would have to take the car to the shop, but it was late Saturday evening and my mechanic was closed.

Sunday morning, I had the KIA towed to the mechanic. They are usually busy on Sundays, but they said they would try to get it in. That left me with a moment of panic. If they couldn’t fix my car Sunday, I didn’t have an easy way to get to work and back on Monday. That’s when I decided to look for a cheap backup.

The Internet has made car shopping easier. There are many sites that aggregate available cars, including from dealers. I set a budget and perused the options. I found two that looked promising. The first was a 2002 Pontiac Grand Am for two-grand. It was probably ok, but I’ve seen how some of these coupes get treated by their owners. The picture looked good, but I worried about suspension and such.

The other option was a 2005 Buick LeSabre Custom in Cedar Falls. From the photo it looked like the body had a few dents and dings. Generally, these cars were owned by older drivers who were unlikely to be drag racing or taking sharp corners at full speed. It also had the GM 3800 V-6 engine which has a reputation of lasting forever with proper maintenance.

The shop got my KIA fixed in time for me to pick it up Sunday afternoon. There is a great benefit from being a regular customer for several decades. With a way of getting around, I made arrangements to check out the Buick after work on Monday.

I got to the dealership Monday evening and they didn’t know what I was talking about. After a bit of discussion, we figured out that I had been interacting with a chatbot and not a real employee. That was annoying, but I was more focused on checking out the car.

The Buick looked like its pictures, a little scuffed but not too bad. It started and drove around. The dash dials were wonky. They wanted two thousand, but I balked a bit. The driver’s seat belt buckle would not latch and that was a safety issue. Because of that, they knocked five hundred off. Being way under planned budget, I cut them a check and said I wouldn’t be able to pick up the car until later in the week because I had to get someone to drive me up.

Thursday, my friend and coworker Mark drove me up to get the car (thanks, Mark!). They found all the parts. I put the sales paperwork and my temporary proof of insurance into the glove box and took off in my “new” car.

The gas gauge sat on empty and I wasn’t sure if the gauge was faulty or if the car really was empty. My first stop was a Casey’s about a mile down the road. The Buick has an eighteen gallon tank andI put in seventeen and a half. I also went in to get washer solution, oil, and coolant with a plan to make sure everything was topped off before heading home.

The drive was mostly smooth. The worn out shocks meant that any notable bump left the car sauntering more like a horse for a bit, but nothing too bad. The air conditioner didn’t work, but some of the windows rolled down, so the early evening drive just before sundown was pleasant. To my surprise, the radio worked great.

I was just about home when I changed my mind about something. The dealer only had one key for the car. My preference is to have at least two, and maybe a spare stored somewhere safe. I altered my course and headed over to my local Menards because I knew they had a key kiosk.

The kiosk read my solitary key and said everything was good except for one little thing. The head of the key contains a security identifier chip. The new keys would need that. The kiosk would have to send my order to the main office and they would then mail me my keys in a week or so. Also, the security keys were more expensive. Oops.

While at Menards, I hit up the automotive section. The car needed floor mats, so I got some of those. I also got some cleaning supplies, especially disinfectant. I’m a bit of a germaphobe, so driving somebody else’s car creeps me out a bit. It would be a while before the car was “mine” with all my personal germs as the primary grossness.

By this time, it was getting late. I thought about swinging by a drive-through for supper, but I didn’t want to put my food on the seats of the car. I wasn’t worried about the seats; I was still creeped out about other people’s germs. Instead, I just drove the thing home and parked it in front of the house.

The whole idea of buying an older, cheaper car is that the money can then be spent on getting everything fixed. If you buy a used car, you can’t be sure about any of the parts or fluids. If all your money goes into the purchase of the car, you don’t have money for things that may or may not break. If you buy a cheap car, you can take it to the shop and just have everything replaced. It may not be less expensive than the other car by the time it all adds up, but you know all the parts and fluids are new.

The next step, then, was getting the car into the shop and getting everything worked on.

When Stories Go Wild

A story has been coagulating in my noggin. It takes place in the same county as my other little horror stories, so I should be able to concentrate on the telling and not worry so much about details. I figured out the details for those other tales. Unfortunately, the narrative doesn’t agree.

Things began with Timmy’s Zombie Abatement Service and a few places in Abish County, Iowa. It is a fictional county made up by averaging out all the rural counties in the state. Essentially, Iowa has ninety-nine counties, but Abish ain’t one. So far, there’s a primary town, a little history, and a sheriff’s department.

What is the name of that town anyway? For the new story, it would be nice to know. The next question: how do I create a fictional county seat for an Iowa county without picking an existing town, and while making it sound like an actual Iowa town. Time to fall back on averaging and pattern matching. The new name for the town is Elrin.

The next struggle: road names. There are two ways to name county roads in Iowa. If there was a good reason, and a petition, then the road may use a common name that has been around a while. Otherwise, there is a coding scheme that uses letters ‘A’ through ‘J’ for East-West roads, and ‘K’ through ‘Z’ for North-South roads. The lettering transitions as the roads move further south or east through the state.

This means I must either reference the roads by the common name, or come up with a relative location for my county within the state. One of my goals with this county was to make it a generic, average, rural county in Iowa. Using letter codes for the county roads would establish a location, which also establishes terrain, nearness to large cities, and other things. I could use weird combinations, for example having one road with an ‘A’ and another with a ‘Z’ in the same county is nonsensical in the real world. It’s a tough one.

A county also needs more towns than just the county seat. A typical county in Iowa will have around eight to ten actual towns, but may also have other communities such as unincorporated areas. Online searches must be phrased as “counties in Iowa” and not “Iowa counties” because the search engines keep wanting to “correct” the spelling to “Iowa County”, an actual county in Iowa. When I do figure out those towns, they need names and people.

A couple of members of the sheriff’s department participated in the earlier stories. Some show up again. Everytime they show up, they require more development while still staying true to their original appearances. One of them is the main character in the new tale. This requires that I carefully review my prior notes and integrate them into the new notes. Since this is a recurring thing, I need to create a story-independent database of characters.

Finally, because my brain works like this, details about the history of the county have started to bubble up. When was the county founded? Who were those founders? Were they into anything weird? Is there a reason why this county may be better suited to odd things happening? There seem to be long-reaching shadows that may lead to more stories later.

The overall result of this is that writing the story is taking longer than thought. My preference is to say I want to jump right in and tell the tale. Unfortunately, part of my brain would rather spend all the time building every little detail of this story’s world. It’s a constant fight. I will get there eventually.