The last thing I posted to this site was a while ago. Even that took an unusual amount of effort on my part. This reason is not that unusual in the world. My doctors found a lump.
Since about the age of eleven, I've had heart damage, probably caused by a flu-like virus. That's how far back the symptoms go. Unfortunately, the heart issue was not properly diagnosed until my early thirties. At that time, I was nearly dead, but I've since improved quite a bit.
For years now, my main complaints were exhaustion and shortness of breath. Those can be symptoms of heart health and be easily dismissed. However, those are also the symptoms of other things.
I teach software development at my local community college. Some medical people suggested that staying up late to do grading and class prep was aggravating the exhaustion and breathing trouble (as well as preventing me from exercising regularly). It looked like I needed to give up teaching and go find a corporate job in information technology.
In spring of 2020, I told the dean of my department that I needed to leave teaching. We had been shorthanded and just hired a new guy. She asked if I could stick around for a year to help get the new guy all settled. Since I'm a sucker and I like working in education, I agreed.
The health issue did not improve, so in February of 2021, I told the new dean that I was leaving. I recommended a replacement for me. The school went through the hiring process and hired the person I recommended. That person was my replacement when I left my I.T. job at the same school to start teaching, so she seemed like a good candidate to replace me again.
The Twist
Then came May. While discussing a recent echocardiogram, the nurse practitioner and I talked in great detail about all my symptoms. She made it clear that my heart was not in bad enough shape to cause my breathing trouble. This was excellent news on the side of cardiac health. However, it meant there was something else. She referred me to the pulmonary people.
They did a breathing test and chest x-ray. The breathing test showed an obstruction. The x-ray showed a lump. A C-T scan confirmed there was a lump, but not much more. A PET scan filled in the details.
My internist explained that there was a lump on the backside of my sternum (breast bone) near the top. It was probably an enlarged thymus gland, and it needed to come out. The scan showed it was 3.8cm by 3.4cm by 2.4cm (about an inch and a half square and one inch thick).
A cardiothoracic surgeon arranged for a needle biopsy. That's where they stick a needle into the lump and try to pull out enough stuff to look at. The results of this biopsy were inconclusive. The recommendation was for an excisional biopsy, i.e.: dig the whole thing out and look at it.
About three and a half weeks ago, I went to the hospital for surgery. The cardiothoracic surgeon went in and dug all of the lump out of me. From what I understand of his reputation, if he says he got all of it, then he got all of it. This surgery involved a partial sternotomy, where they cut through part of the sternum to open it like a barn door. When done, they wire the sternum pieces back together, like a farmer using tie-wire to wire shut a barn door.
By midday the following Saturday, they sent me home. By eight o'clock that night, I was headed back to the hospital with a fever of 103.6 degrees. I spent the next week hooked to intravenous feeds of strong antibiotics. They kicked me out again the following Saturday and gave me strong oral antibiotics for a week.
Since then, I've been gradually healing. I'm back to work, but only teaching part time.
The Effect
When writing all of this, the whole story doesn't seem that long and should not have interfered with my writing or other activities. If you look carefully, though, you would see that the discovery of the lump was in May and the final release from the hospital was at the end of August. That's the whole summer of doing some medical task and then waiting a week or two before the next activity. Such a long period with a mystery lump stops a lot of what your brain would otherwise do.
I am not prone to depression (as far as I know), but anyone can be messed up by a nebulous medical condition. During the summer, I found myself sitting for long periods of time simply blanked out. My mind was still there, still aware of what was going on around me, but I wasn't being my usual, productive self. During these periods, I wasn't actively thinking about anything; that part shut down.
Household chores got done. I met with friends as scheduled. Things that were on my to-do list that absolutely had to be completed were accomplished. For the rest of the time, there was only emptiness.
Oops, Unemployed!
This led to another very stressful situation. As noted above, in February I gave my notice that I was quitting my job. I planned on arranging a new job over summer while I was still receiving contract pay (and benefits) from the teaching gig. Early on, there were some interviews and such, but the information about the lump made job hunting harder. How do you tell a potential employer that you won't be available as you start a job because of a serious medical issue? The sitting blank eventually stopped a lot of my job hunting.
There were other options. My replacement for the teaching position had to leave her position as the team lead. That was my old job before I went to teaching. They needed someone to replace her. I wanted to apply, but I also needed extra cash. To help with that, I contacted her direct boss and the vice president over her boss and explained all the reasons for some changes. I described why the pay needed to be higher. I explained why the job should be changed from team lead (an unofficial title) to manager (an official title). They were very good arguments.
The VP agreed and made the changes. Then he offered the improved position to the woman who was to replace me in the teaching job. She accepted. There was no longer a teacher to replace me and the start of the semester was coming fast. At least the direct boss sent me an email thanking me for the arguments in favor of the job changes.
That should mean that I would be able to go back to teaching because they would be in a dire position. It didn't work out that way. The department arranged everything to deal with the missing teacher scenario. By the time I got there, they only had three courses available to teach, meaning that I would be teaching part-time as an adjunct instructor.
This isn't all bad. I need the recovery time from the surgery. I will probably start chemotherapy before long; the lump turned out to be a large B-cell lymphoma. The teaching is enough to cover my basic bills. The government healthcare exchange website helped me hook up with insurance.
The big issue is the future. My dean and program chair want me back permanently full-time. I've heard rumors that there may be an administrator who does not. Even if they can bring me back full-time for spring, I would still be unemployed from mid-December to mid-January. I would also need to apply for the new full-time position for the following year, which would leave me unemployed for the summer.
Given that kind of instability, I might be better off finding a corporate I. T. job and leaving education. That would be sad because I am a pretty good teacher. Even the students who don't do well in my classes generally like me. As much as I'm not a summer person, I have gotten a lot of writing done in summers. The uncertain future is a source of great stress.
Conclusion
So that's what happened. Life threw a wrench in the works and it disrupted everything. I always tell my students, "If everything goes smoothly, you don't get a good story out of it." I just need to find where this story will take me next.