Every day, I run a small program that generates a To-Do list. It pre-populates the standard, daily tasks. It has a few tasks that vary based on the day of the week. Then, I add a few things that are one-offs or other things that aren't worth coding for. At the top of the list there is a line that reads "REMINDER: See to yourself first!" For some reason, I still neglect to do some of the things that are in the best interest of my overall well being.
The needed sanity tasks usually involve creativity. I need time to write, paint, and so forth. If I skip that, the extra stress piles on. Over time, the stress builds like the snow on a tall mountain, just waiting for the avalanche.
In my day job, I train new software and database developers so they can go forth and be productive adults. This not only involves lecturing and grading, but keeping up with the dynamic field of information technology. During the semester, that takes all of my days and requires massive amounts of time at the computer.
This leaves very little time for anything else. When I do get time, I need to spend it in the physical activity needed to keep me alive. Creative endeavors find no room, and that heaps more stress on the mountain top.
Today, the day before Thanksgiving, is technically not one of my contract work days. That means there is no requirement for me to do anything work related. The work still sits, waiting, and it is another avalanche in the making, but it has an external time constraint.
A few weeks ago, a positive Covid-19 test locked me in a two-week quarantine. That required converting my lectures and labs into videos. Planning, recording, editing, and posting two weeks of videos for all of my different courses took more time than if I just lectured live. It was the only way to make sure my students got their lessons. During the first week in particular, the illness left me randomly exhausted, making lecturing through video in real time an unreliable option. Then there were the Internet issues in my neighborhood.
Now, all the grading from those two weeks awaits my attention. After the Thanksgiving break, my college is going online for the last two weeks of the semester for any class not requiring special equipment, such as the nursing labs. That means I need to prepare to do the remaining class meetings online.
None of that matters, though. At some point, you have to tell yourself that staying mentally healthy is important too. You have to see to yourself first. I made the decision that I will do nothing work-related today or tomorrow (actual Thanksgiving) and handle the stress relief that I need.
Putting a time constraint on relaxing is stressful itself. Various writing projects call for attention. A canvas and frame that keep showing me an image yet to be painted. Pieces of wood and plastic and metal all call out to be shaped, decorated and changed into art. From a different direction, the regular household chores whine about things like dusting and scrubbing.
I will have to accept that I can do what gets done and nothing more. The end of the semester nears, and there will be time after that. For the spring semester, they've scheduled me for three sections of one course, which means shared class prep. The spring semester will start a week late, with no spring break, due to the pandemic. That gives me an extra week of the winter break in which to accomplish personal projects. That will have to do.
So, that is that. I can only do what fits the schedule. Life is, by its nature, somewhat stressful. Still, I should do a better job of seeing to myself first.